Ok so now it is Thursday and I have talked myself around around in circles and really don’t know what to think anymore. I keep telling myself to wait for the report from the specialist and read it, digest all the information and go from there but I really can’t wait 2 weeks I think we can do more right now. Just on cue I get a call from SLT and they tell me they are running a special summer programme for 8 weeks focusing on OT & SLT with other children. I jump at the chance to join another programme as the key piece that Elliot is really struggling with right now is socialising and this would give him a controlled environment to do this in.
Feeling a little better we head to see Ben Elliots new friend from England that he has quickly got very friendly with. This would normally really excite Elliot but he has been a little cranky and everything seems to be causing melt downs and a lot of stress this week. In the past we have just written this behaviour off as naughty but today it is clear that he is anxious and he is getting stressed out. I deal with the panic and help him get ready to leave the house which takes 20 minutes by the time we leave the house both Oliver and Elliot are crying I have to say I was very tempted to join in.
We finally get in the car and I remind Elliot that we are going to see Ben and Clare and baby Alex and we are going to have lots of fun. He calms down quite a lot by the time we arrive, is pleased to see Ben and goes off to play with him. He is ok but not himself he keeps getting frustrated and whimpering and making funny noises. These actions I have started to realise are because he wants something but doesn’t know how to ask for it. I have stopped the intuition and am asking him to explain himself. I tell him I realise he has a problem but he really needs to speak to me so I can help him resolve it. This keeps happening over and over again and I just don’t seem to be able to help him out as he is having a really bad day. I chat to Clare about it and it is really nice to have another persons perspective and she agrees that he seems anxious and stressed more than usual. In the heat of the moment I feel the same too. I guess I am guilty of watching him like a hawk for anxious behaviour since the Dr suggested he is very anxious. I really don’t want to put him on Zoloft so want to understand how bad the issue is that the specialist has seen. So continue to observe him.
Later in the day after many melt downs we meet Simon and go for a meal out, which is a disaster. Elliot continues to be difficult and Oliver joins in for good measure. We get home and get the kids into bed and I just burst into tears I feel so overwhelmed by Elliot and how best to deal with him that I really don’t know what to do, I feel absolutely cheated and that someone has stolen our happy little boy and left us with a nervous mess. After a long chat Simon and I decide that we are not going to try Zoloft yet and that there must be something else we can do first. Just to be sure that we are not missing something that the specialist has seen I decide to ask some advice from his therapists he sees on a friday.