“What’s that on the floor mummy?” – Elliot Rust

We went to see the great grandparents on Saturday morning.  Elliot was very well behaved and Oliver was the one creating – wanted feeding, feeding and more feeding 🙂

But before we set off, Elliot fed Pepsi the contents of one of Pepsi’s boxes of tablets.  There were around 30 or 40 of the chews in there.  Pepsi is usually issued with between one and two per day, so 20 day’s supply in one hit is probably not such a good call 🙁  Vicky rang the vet and they checked to see if we needed to go straight in with him.  Apparently, he would be OK, but would be very thirsty and would probably have an upset stomach.  Good news then.  Incidentally Vicky did think she heard the receptionist snigger as she put the phone down…..

So, today, Simon has fixed the downstairs toilet (flushing issue), unblocked the drain out in the garden (Elliot filled it with the pea gravel from around the house), done a spot of weeding (honestly he did) and he used Greg’s carpet cleaner on the two downstairs rugs.

Wait, he did what? Why did he have to clean TWO rugs?  For those who are a little faint hearted, please navigate away from this website now, and come back in a day or two – we will have replaced this entry by then.

For the rest of you, wait for what could be one of the best laughs at somebody else’s expense you will have today…..

So, setting the scene, it was Saturday afternoon, we had been back from Halifax for a couple of hours, Elliot was playing with Miss Rabbits Helicopter (from the Peppa Pig range), Oliver was having his milk with daddy, and mummy had just woken from a 10 minute power sleep.  We were all in the conservatory.  One of the dogs wandered into the conservatory and then back out again (the other dog was already in the room, asleep on the floor next to his mummy (think you can guess that the brown one was the one already in the room).  Elliot asked mummy, “What is that on the floor?”.  Mummy replied “I don’t know darling, Sam what is it?”.  In honesty it looked like the pollen from the tree in the neighbours garden, but it couldn’t be that since the conservatory had been sealed against that getting in almost 12 months ago!!!  Closer inspection showed that it was hundreds of little brownish coloured spots on the floor, and even closer inspection taught Simon that whatever it was, it smelt of dog crap 🙁  So Simon carefully stepped out of the conservatory and into the kitchen, to find even more of the same strange looking spots on the floor AND up the walls and on the cabinets – then he found a cowering Pepsi in the utility by the outside door kind of whimpering.  It took a similar amount of time for the issue to register with Simon that the dog was not feeling too well and that he needed to go outside to drop his guts.  Simon let him out and strangely he DIDN’T drop said guts.  This disappointed Simon somewhat as it suggested something.  Something that Simon was not really prepared to what to take on board.

That’s right readers, the dog had clearly ALREADY left those dropped guts INSIDE the house :-(.  So, the hunt began – Simon followed the little brown spots through the house, into the hallway, where the stench changed form a 3 out of 10 (10 being I can’t breathe, 1 being ordinary household smell) to around an 8 out of 10.  He rounded the corner and looked up the hall to see the sight – a sight that he will not be forgetting in a hurry let me tell you….  The runner of rug that exists in the hallway (8×2 foot) had a strange rounded extension on the end of it – oh yes, the whole of the downstairs of the house is laminate flooring and our little black dog sought out the carpet to crap on!!!  It (the crap) had a diameter of about 18 inches, and was purely slop.  The little buggers tail had clearly fallen into it, and then he sauntered around the house (possibly wagging said tail slightly) and depositing 100’s of little dots of crap all over the floors and around 2feet up the damned walls also.  In the last 9 years of owning dogs, we have NEVER experienced ANYTHING quite like this – they have tested us in the past, yes, but never have they literally shit all over the ground floor of the house before.

It took 2 hours to clean up, and the dog was clearly not feeling too good, so he just sat on the mat by the back door for the next couple of hours.

But that’s only one rug right?  Well, while mummy and daddy were bathing Eliot and Oliver upstairs, Pepsi was downstairs hunting out another carpet type covering to be SICK on.  The little bugger will hunt out carpet to sick and shit on !!!!!

He had Simon up in the night, as this was not the end of it – he needed to vomit again apparently.  At least this time there was no carpet for him to do it on, so the clean up job just  took a few minutes and Simon could get back to sleep…..

Just another day in Fork Hall 🙂

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